Freedom in Captivity

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God’s Thoughts to Me

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17, NLT).

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1, NIV).

My Freedom Manifest

During World War II, Corrie Ten Boom and her family helped many Jews to escape the Nazi Holocaust.

The Ten Boom Family

The Ten Boom Family

They were arrested in 1944 due to an informant. Corrie, her father and her sister, Betsie, were imprisoned in Ravensbruck, a Nazi concentration camp.

Only Tante Corrie survived and in 1953 her book, A Prisoner and Yet, was released where she shared their suffering and torture.

Despite everything she went through, she was released with her soul free and her mind intact. She found the secret of living free in our Lord Jesus whilst being a prisoner in the worst of prisons.

Corrie Ten Boom

Corrie Ten Boom

I have to confess that I am an experienced jailbird. For a long time, I have been a prisoner, imprisoned in the narrow confines of my mind. Lies were the jailers, torturing me relentlessly.

Unlike Tante Corrie, I was free in the eyes of the world! Yet, my heart was captured in many dark prisons of self.

Self-contempt and his brother-in-arms, self-condemnation, were trampling and destroying the last tatters of self-respect I was clinging onto for dear life.

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I was well versed in the language of abuse, but instead of unmasking this monster as the fiend he really was, I internalized all his lies.

I labelled myself as the perpetrator and considered these cruel, murderous words, my own fault and my just reward for being such a detestable person. Yet, I could never pinpoint my behavior that caused this treatment.

I did my utmost to placate the violent temper of the one who was slowly killing me with verbal bullets instead of loving me more than life. I soon learned that for survival, silence was the name of this game.

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When I was at the bottom of the pit of self-contempt, I turned to alcohol in an attempt to lessen the pain of rejection.

It is one thing to be the innocent recipient of such abuse, but quite another to believe the lies that you deserve nothing less.

I knew I was walking a very dangerous road of self-destruction, but truth be told; it seemed preferable to being jailed in the prison of my life. But my love for my children compelled me to look for a better way.

So I turned to God. Or rather; I became very active in organized religion. I tried to find answers in a myriad of religious do’s and don’ts. It was no surprise that the biggest don’t was , ” Thou shalt not DRINK!”!

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My mind was completely veiled by a burqa weaved of the finest silk of deception and religious lies. No wonder I was totally powerless to overcome anything destructive in my life.

I was trusting my non-existent abilities to keep laws and another set of laws and then another set of by-laws!! I was doing hard labor in this prison of religion and before long I was chucked away into the worst of worst kind of imprisonment: solitary confinement.

If ever there was a brutal crowd of cruel jailmasters, it was the Scribes and Pharisees throwing stones of condemnation and shame.

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I hoped to find help and support amongst these people, but experienced the worst kind of abuse one can think of: spiritual abuse.

I call it by another name, the rape of the heart. The rapist, to my mind, was none other than our dear Lord Jesus!

But a still, small voice kept beckoning me on another journey; a journey to freedom … a journey to truth … a journey to life.

Our Lord Jesus started clearing my mind of all the inroads of lies and redeemded me from its destestable father.

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This is the first time I am able to lift the veil of shame and offer a peek into this sector of my life where I was a prisoner of alcohol. Nothing I tried could enable me to stop this terrible addiction!

When I came to the end of all I could call “me”, I fell to my knees, telling our  Pappa that if He didn’t heal me, I was going to be a drunkard for the rest of my life. I got up and never drank again. I didn’t even experience any withdrawal symptoms.

Sharing this is still awkward and it still hurts at times. But I have received grace upon grace to not only forgive myself and the perpetrators of the abuse against me, but our relationships have been beautifully restored to wholeness in Him.

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With a grateful heart, I want to bring glory to our Pappa for the freedom that can only be found there where His Spirit reigns … the freedom Tante Corrie experienced when she was a prisoner and yet.

Much love and sweet blessings

Mia xx

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50 thoughts on “Freedom in Captivity

      • You are indeed very brave who are willing to be this transparent. You have beautifully penned down our common story; about human weakness, about loss, about pain and not least rejection which many of us know so well. But, this is not the end of the story. God is far greater than the sum of our lives which you so mastery point out. Again, thanks!
        Blessings to you too!
        Ole Henrik

  1. Mia, I’m so sorry you have experienced such terrible imprisonment, but so grateful our Pappa heals and forgives. Thank you for baring your heart to tell such a very personal story! May it help others to escape their own private prisons.

    • Dear Nancy
      Yes, dear one, we only need to turn to our Lord asking Him to save us and He loves doing just that. We need to be at the end of ourselves before we have enough common sense to turn to Him.
      Blessings
      Mia

  2. Mia,

    I’m so grateful that you’ve shared your story with us — the story of your pain, and of the redemption in your life. His light shines so brightly through you. Your words — your very life! — make such a difference. Such.A.Difference.

    • Dear Jennifer
      Isn’t it wonderful how our Lord takes all our boo-boos and works just good out of them, all to His and His glory alone.
      Blessings
      Mia

  3. Pingback: Lessons Learned in 3D — Timing is Everything | 3dLessons4Life's Blog

    • Dear Beth
      Thank you, but all I can say is that only our Lord can get all HIs glory. He works His good even in our worst broken places.
      Blessings
      Mia

  4. So beautifully written! So painfully honest! “When I came to the end of all that I could call me….” my favorite line. I’ve been there! Thank you again Mia for your words. The words of your testimony are like keys that unlock people’s prison doors. Blessings!

    • Dear Rachael
      Looking back, I have to admit that the end of myself was a very good place to bee for our Lord cannot do much for those who think that they have it all together. We all are sinners and all need His life.
      Blessings
      Mia

  5. Bless you, Mia. I, too, love Corrie Ten Boom — her life helped change mine. Thank you for your courage and for proclaiming here Jesus glorified! He has saved, he has redeemed, and he is allowing your story to be a point of inspiration and hope for others. Thank you for heeding his call to share the good news which so often comes from the darkest of places. I am praying that you would continue to walk in the light of His love that works so powerfully in you.

    • Dear Ashley
      When I look at the beauty He has brought out of your broken places, dear friend, I cannot not share. All for His glory alone.
      Blessings
      Mia

  6. Mia, all you have experienced in the hands of a forgiving God will be used to help free others. Bless you for opening your life to for all to see. Spiritual abuse is the tool of the devil to keep us in bondage. You just stomp him to the ground my courageous wise hearted sister, keep stomping with your words of freedom.

    • Dear Betty
      It is for freedom that our Lord has set us free. We should never allow the devil to steal our freedom again. Thank you for kind words.
      Blessings
      Mia

    • Dear Emily
      Our Pappa’s Kingdom is filled with broken sinful ones, don’t you think. Thank you for always being so open with your struggles. It is so encouraging.
      Blessings
      Mia

  7. Oh, Mia, thank you for sharing your story with us. It is so similar to my dad’s story of bondage to alcohol, but just like you, our Father delivered him instantly with no withdrawal.

    So sorry that you had to be a prisoner of spiritual abuse. Condemnation is never from God. Yes, sometimes He convicts, but never condemns.

    God bless you!

    • Dear Jerralea
      Oh, I am overjoyed to hear how our Pappa delivered your father from that monster as well! Spiritual abuse has been with us for ever.Ezekiel 34 tells what our Lord think about that. Our Lord’s conviction is always done with so much love.
      Blessings
      Mia
      Mia

  8. Awesome post, Mia. The truth is we all have weaknesses that bind us in chains when we let the lies restrain our confession. Your truth is from the strength of God which allows all of us to freely confess our weaknesses that in the end are not so different, nor is the grace that frees us…

    Thanks for this.

    • Dear Floyd
      Our Pappa God is in the chain breaking business, isn’t He! Without Him we will never be able to overcome anything. Actually, in my case, the harder I tried, the bigger the mess I made.
      Blessings
      Mia

  9. Thank you for sharing this private and painful part of yourself with us. You are a brave and courageous woman and I am so grateful that you have chosen to share your story with others. May the Lord richly bless your willingness to be vulnerable and open. Oh, and you ROCK!!!

    • Dear Debi
      You are so kind. If it was not for our Lord walking with me every step of the way, I would not have been able to have shared. But it brings so much glory to Him and His love and goodness, that I am glad I did.
      Blessings
      Mia
      ps. You rock too !!

  10. Mia, I am *amazed* at the power of God at work in your life! I join you in praising him for giving you victory over alcohol and a controlling religion so you could find FREEDOM!! So glad you linked up and had the courage to share your story!

    • Dear Jane
      Yes, His grace is just always sufficient for everything. Thank you for your linky place where we can always link on a Monday. It is nice to begin the week with a Scripture to think about.
      Blessings
      Mia

  11. Mia, I’m in awe of God’s goodness and the good that only He can create out of despair. He’s allowed much to happen in your life, with full knowledge that at a known-only-to-Him point in time, you would bring glory to Him because of the struggle. Thank you loving our Pappa enough to share your story.
    Blessings and much love ~ Mary

    • Dear Mary
      Yes, He had everything under control when I did not. Ans it is a joy to encourage others with the encouragement I have received from Him.
      Blessings
      Mia

  12. Mia, too many powerful lines here for me to choose just one. I, too, know the dark and despair of “solitary confinement”, as an eating disorder ravished my mind in my teen years far more than it ravished my body. Praise God that He sent His Son to set the prisoners free. THANKS for using your pain to spur others on to healing. So glad He’s broken the chains for you- and glad I’m your neighbor at Jen’s UNITE link up this week.

    • Dear Alicia
      I am sorry to hear about your struggles as well, but then we learn so much through the things we suffer.I am glad that He has set you free as well.
      Blessings
      Mia

    • Dear Dolly
      I need to thank you all who always are so brave to share your struggles. That encouraged me to share mine too.
      Blessings
      Mia

    • Dear Jen
      It is what is about, drawing ever closer to our Lord. Oh,the joy of living in Him cannot be explained in words.
      Blessings
      Mia

    • Dear Jennifer
      Our minds is truly the battlefield. I am so grateful for the One who tells us that the battle is His and we can just hold our peace.
      Blessings
      Mia

  13. Mia, you are such a testament to the power and goodness of God. Thank you for speaking so bravely about this difficult part of your life. I’m so glad you have found freedom in grace and in our God who is love. What a blessing you and your story of redemption are.

    • Dear Laura
      It was not easy, but I decided not to let the liar have any more joy in my life. Once we turn to Jesus the Light of Heaven drives all the darkness away.
      Blessings
      Mia

  14. What courage it took to write that! What healing it will bring. When we bring it into the light of day the darkness dissolves away……
    Your honest words are a wonderful testimony of God’s faithfulness.

    • Dear Irene
      That is so true. Nothing brings so much healing from our past than bringing it to the Light of Heaven. The darkness just disappear when confronted with our Lord.
      Blessings
      Mia

  15. What a powerful story, Mia. Those lies, they are strong and they are burdensome. But our God is stronger and he pursues passionately those he loves. Thanks so much for stopping by my place so I could return the favor and read your life-giving words here.

    • Dear Nancy
      Thank you for your kindness. When those lies scream in our minds they truly are very powerful, but our Lord already overcame their Father.
      Blessings
      Mia

  16. I appreciate you being so vulnerable in writing out these feelings. This is strong stuff that can really help set others free like you have been set free. I currently have a friend who is imprisoned by alcohol and I feel so helpless as I watch her. Your insight gives me a little more insight into what she may be experiencing. Thanks for sharing, Mia! May Pappa rain many beautiful blessings on you this week!

    (Just FYI: your link isn’t working right from Laura’s at The Wellspring, but I found my way here anyway. :-))

    • Dear Lisa
      If what I went through just helps one person to overcome their problems then I would be so honored.Thank you for your kind wishes.
      Blessings
      Mia

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