Posted in broken cisterns, Chronic Ilness, Constant Fatigue Syndrome, desert, Evangelical Humanism, Fibromyalgia, Five Minute Fridays, God's Favor, Grateful, In the Shadow of His Wings, Relationship vs Religion, Suffering, Uncategorized, Walking with God

The Lonely Desert

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God’s Thoughts to Me

And human hands can’t serve His needs – for He has no needs. He Himself gives life and breath to everything, and He satisfies every need (Acts 17:25, NLT).

Gratefully Dying Gracefully

imageWhen thoughts are drifters on the wings of confusion, gratefulness seems like a mirage in a dry, barren desert …

… always shimmering delightfully on the horizon …

… always  inviting, yet empty, broken cisterns that can hold no water.

As I have been wandering though the swamps of illness, caught in the fowler’s snare, an evangelical humanist, desperation has nearly been the victor as ungrateful thoughts played havoc with my mind.

Silly ideas and futile thinking battled to breathe just another little breath of stale, self-pitying air, causing unending, dreadful torment.

imageGuilt and condemnation were my hated companions as I was trying to navigate my way through the dense fog hovering constantly on the surface of my muddy mind …

… there where no two thoughts walked together as friends.

I battled to hear my Lord’s loving overtures … bidding me gently to come …

… just abiding in the cool shadows of His love.

There where I could stop striving to be His co-savior, albeit a prisoner of my mind, and just rest in the coolness of His limitless affection.

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He longed to gather me with unconditional acceptance, yet I stubbornly ran to and fro …

… seeking reason and rescue for my debilitating plight …

… fearfully fighting that sweet surrender.

He once again accompanied me faithfully to the end of my reasonings and self. Again He showed me the folly of that evil lie of independence …

… the fruit of the lips of the great deceiver, the father of all lies.

The uselessness of being useful and the usefulness of being useless became vividly apparent as I was limping on my last legs.

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My turmoil was gently quieted by the whisper of His voice as He reminded me that He is not served by human hands.

Gratefully, as free as a bird, my heart rose with repentance to new heights of joy and freedom as He softly gathered me into His Loving Embrace and seated me in heavenly places in Him.

Sweet blessings xx

Mia

Linking with Lisa-Jo at FMF where Grateful is the guest of honor and the ladies at my Tea Time and Link-Up page.

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Author:

I live in a small seaside town on the south-east coast of South Africa. I suffer from fybromyalgia/constant fatigue syndrome. I trust in the Lord Jesus for grace and strength to survive from day to day. He provides me with this and more and I therefore like to try and encourage others with the same illness. I am married and I am the proud mother of two grown sons.

41 thoughts on “The Lonely Desert

  1. Mia…always powerful. “He once again accompanied me faithfully to the end of my reasonings and self. Again He showed me the folly of that evil lie of independence …” Letting go of the grip and being 100% dependent on Him is a struggle I’ve wrestled with myself from time to time. I’ve missed your words and having you link up at WJIM. Glad to read your post today. Blessings to you.

  2. So much of my time I want to be mixed in with bird after bird after bird and flying together to the Lord, filled with, as you said, new heights, joy, and freedom. YEP!!! That’s what I count on.

  3. Hi Mia! Welcome back! I was wondering if your break was due to your health, I hope you are doing so much better now. It sounds like it was a painful, dark time. But now you rise like a bird. So happy for you!
    Blessings,
    Ceil

  4. The uselessness of being useful and the usefulness of being useless became vividly apparent as I was limping on my last legs. This really speaks to me Mia. So glad to see you back.

  5. Mia,
    What a beautiful picture of surrender and how hard it is to truly surrender/sink into His unconditional love and the freedom of not having to be “useful” for Him to love us….So glad you are back writing and to see your son Simon’s wedding pictures on FB…so beautiful…praying today that God continues to comfort and encourage you in His love…I had my own little scare the past few days and now I am in a wait and see mode…((hugs)) to you 🙂

  6. I always want to read your words slowly, Mia. You have things to say. I’ve missed you.

    These in particular stand out to me today as words I need to hear from the Lord:

    “He once again accompanied me faithfully to the end of my reasonings and self. Again He showed me the folly of that evil lie of independence …”

    “The uselessness of being useful and the usefulness of being useless”

    Words for me to think about….
    Blessings to you, friend.

  7. I’ve missed you around the blogosphere and whispered your name to god when I thought of you Mia! So happy to see you well enough to write and wise enough to give Him praise. As always you match words and pictures so well. Big hugs and love to you friend!

  8. Again you stun us with your powerful words and images…such clear expression of the need for surrender in the midst of sorrow and pain.

    So good to hear from you, Mia! Praying for you, dear friend!

  9. Mia, I smiled big when I saw that you had linked up. Your words are so profound, I must come back and read again and linger a while. Thank you for linking up. Have a blessed week!

  10. Mia, I am overjoyed to see your presence in Blog Land again! I know that you’ve gone through a deep valley lately, but I also see how God has held you close, no matter what. Eagerly looking forward to hearing what your heart has to say…

    GOD BLESS.

  11. It’s so great to hear from you, Mia! I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you, sister. I’m rested in knowing you’re heart is as strong as ever… and so are your words, sister. God bless you and yours.

  12. Hi Mia…so happy to see your face today and to hear how you sense God’s nearness to you. Thank you for sharing this with us…as isn’t this everyone’s Christian walk? While we are all in different situations…we are always forgetting and remembering this truth. That we are truly free to turn toward His loving face. It is just a turn away even though we can feel so distant from Him and feel almost imprisoned by our thoughts and feelings. These pictures help paint a picture of what we all feel at times.

  13. “When thoughts are drifters on the wings of confusion…”
    “The uselessness of being useful and the usefulness of being useless…”
    Both of these phrases stopped me. I hope you’re feeling better, friend.

  14. My dear, Mia! So thankful to see your sweet face at the link ups this week! I loved this, “The uselessness of being useful and the usefulness of being useless…” Your words are a testimony to His mercy and grace. Blessings, my friend.

  15. Gorgeous – as always! I loved this line: “I battled to hear my Lord’s loving overtures … bidding me gently to come …

    … just abiding in the cool shadows of His love.

    There where I could stop striving to be His co-savior, albeit a prisoner of my mind, and just rest in the coolness of His limitless affection.”

    Oh yes… the striving to be His co-savior… have we not all done this? So thankful for the coolness of His limitless affection!

  16. Mia, I thank God that He brought you through. No one can take the fruit of suffering from you.

  17. futile thinking – oh,how that tries to overtake me in the challenges I face. It is a battle that I wish I could give to Him and stop taking it back! Wishing you blessing and refreshing these next few weeks, Mia!

  18. Mia, so glad to see your face, read your words, and hear your heart. We are grateful that God has continued to sustain you and will keep praying for you!

  19. Mia, so great to have you back. You are my neighbor on Faith Filled Friday. So glad God always has our back and keeps us grounded. Blessings to you. You have been missed.

  20. I have missed you, Mia. So glad to read your post today! Our Lord God is faithful in rescuing us.

  21. Wonderful, Mia! I’m so sorry you’ve been going through a rough patch. But I love what you learned: “There where I could stop my striving to be co-savior, albeit a prisoner of my mind, and just rest in the coolness of His affection.”

    Resting in the coolness of His affection. I like that idea very much. No striving, just resting.

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