Posted in Emily Wierenga, Imperfect Prose, Shulamite, Spiritual Kingdom, Spirituality, Sunflowers, The Love of God, The Peace of God

The Joy of The Lord


God’s Thoughts to Me

This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength! (Nehemia 8:10, NLT).

The Kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21, NIV)

The Kingdom Within

We were all created with the longing to be loved … accepted, faults, failures, boots and all! It is quite the opposite of what the world teaches.


From childhood we are bombarded with the lie that we need to be independent! Stand on your own two feet. At best, keep your feelings at bay!

Work hard and climb the ladder to success, only to find that there is no end to this striving, no end to this crazy scurrying to nowhere!

And this longing to be loved goes unfulfilled. And we starve!


Another lie that is soon added to the world’s diet, is that worldy pleasures supposedly would still the hunger in our hearts for fulfillment.

We soon learn that playing just as hard as we work, is another prerequisite for happiness.

At some stage we begin to realize that there must be much more than this rat race that ends up only in the cat’s stomach and we feel the first stirrings of the sweet Holy Spirit drawing us to the heart of our magnificent Creator.


Some people try to quiet this stiil, sweet voice through drugs or sex or alcohol, only to spiral down into the destruction of their ability to be human.

Others sell their souls to a career only to find that ladder resting against a shaky wall, built on an even shakier foundation.

Others seek filfillment in sports and different societies, but I have found that my nemesis was religion!

My heart was like a sunflower turning its head towards organized religion hoping to find the warmth of the Son.


I was experiencing all these stages of life while I was a member of a church, a Sunday School teacher and part of a Bible study group and I was at my wits end.

For even there I couldn’t experience that deep inner joy and love my whole being craved for.

I cannot even begin to describe the intensity of that longing and how it robbed me of my ability to eat or to sleep.

I started on a journey, an inner journey, through the streets of the heavenly Jerusalem … a journey to find the priceless, costly pearl … that pearl of incalculable value.


Like the Shulamite, I said to myself, “I will get up and roam the city, searching in all its streets and squares. I will search for the one I love. So I searched everywhere but did not find Him (Song of Songs 3:2, NLT).”

Yes, I tried everything religion had to offer in the name of my beloved Lord Jesus. Yet, all to no avail.

I soon realized I was in an adulterous affair with the letter of the word and it was killing me slowly but surely (2 Corinthians 3:6), while my heart was longing, no craving, for the love of the Living Word!

Yet, it is so human to prefer the familiar, known streets of captivity, than escaping to the glorious freedom of the unknown.

I had to ask for grace to leave it all behind and to start my journey to Mount Zion … grace to be bigger and wiser than my fears!


When I read verses like Nehemia 8:10 , I became so frustrated, for the much coveted joy seemed to mock me in its absence.

Until one day when I realized that I was not searching for my Beloved with my whole heart like our Pappa advises us to do,”If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me (Jeremiah 29:13, NLT).

Just then and there I decided to take the first step … that leap into the unknown and my whole heart rose up to seek and find the one I love. I cried out … deep cried out onto deep … longing, craving, starving for my Beloved.


Then, one day in the early morning hours after another sleepless night, I was sitting on the floor, totally lost in my longing to be found by Him, when a shining white figure of a man appeared next to me. He held out His hand, inviting me softly, kindly and gently to come.

Just that one word,”COME”.

At first I was frightened, for after all, I didn’t believe in ghosts. But He kept inviting me with so much love and kindness that I couldn’t resist Him any longer. I took His hand and collapsed into His being.

I was lost in love and peace and surprised by JOY unspeakable.


I was lost in His Loving Embrace.

Much love xx


Linking-up with





Posted in Amber Haines, Childlikeness, Chronic Ilness, Constant Fatigue Syndrome, Faith of a Child, Fibromyalgia, Frost, God's Father Heart, Grace, Holy Spirit, Insomnia, Jesus Christ, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, Snowflakes, Spirituality, Suffering, Sunflowers, The Love of God, Walking with God

Frost and Sunflowers

God’s Thoughts to Me

He spreads the snow like wool and scatters the frost like ashes. He hurls down His hail like pebbles. Who can withstand His icy blast? He sends His word and melts them; He stirs up His breezes, and the waters flow. (Psalm 147:16-18, NIV)

Thawing in His Love

Oh, the beauty and joy of frolicking in the snow with complete abandon, creating snow angels and building big, chubby, potbellied snowmen with carrot noses, is truly a delightful gift from the storehouse of heaven.

Yet, another good heavenly gift I reluctantly accept and endure, is the beautiful flowers of feathery frost. Somehow I seem unable to see and appreciate their other-worldly, ethereal beauty!

While snow and frost are both formed from atmospheric vapor, snow crystals form on suspended dust particles high in the air, and frost, near the ground on just any flat surface like windowpanes and blades of grass. Their microscopic anatomy brings glory to our Heavenly Father’s attention to individuality and detail, for every single crystal, snow and frost, has a different shape and form; sort of their fingerprints from a Pappa of diversity.

Just like our Pappa truly has no favorites (James 2:1) and honors our individuality by giving each one of His children their own set of fingerprints, He also honors His creation. It’s diversity and beauty speak of a God who never overlooks a leper, a prostitute, a drunkard or glutton, or even a naked man possesed by a legion of demons, His children enveloped by the coldest winter frost of life.

Frost can be a killer by destroying whole crops during a severe winter season. I always contributed this to the extreme cold. Not so! The edges of frost crystals are needle-sharp. It destroys and damages any surface it settles on by cutting, slicing and stabbing like a knife. Truly, any surface, including my heart!

Ice crystals following the veining of a dead leaf

Before I walked with our Pappa God, I used to deal with the frosty winters of life in a very wordly, fleshly kind of way. Whenever the frost crystals of dissappointment, heart ache and sorrow, the pain of unfulfilled dreams and the whole enchilada settled on the surface of my fleshly, ground-dwelling soul, I would groan and moan, sulk and mope, indignantly blaming everything and everybody for my uncomfortable indisposition. So completely human! Truth be told, I even had the audacity to blame our Pappa at times!!

I am ashamed to admit that I even praised Him profusely, thanking Him for my discomfort and suffering. Yet, my heart, full of hypocrisy, seethed inside, frostbitten by anger and resentment, bemoaning the unfairness of life. Secretly, I kept both my eyes on heaven, fully expecting our Pappa to reward my valiant efforts of praising Him amidst my hard circumstances by making all the bad stuff dissapear. Of course, that never happened! Our Pappa in His wisdom, blessed me with even harder trials and tribulations, for He cannot be manipulated! So, the blame-game kept marching on, keeping me imprisoned and chained to that monstrous jailer, self-pity.

I am grateful to our Pappa for bringing me to the end of myself by allowing Fm/ME to stop me right in my tracks.

I vividly recall one morning in the early morning hours. I was suffering from insomnia (a Fm/ME symptomn) and this was the fifth day without sleeping a wink! Totally exhausted and with a body wracked with pain, I was at the end of my tether and endurace. I raised my voice one more time and, with an honest, sincere heart, I praised my Pappa, telling Him that I trust Him, regardless; no strings attached.

Our heavenly Father immediately reached down and gathered me into His Loving Embrace. For a few hours my heart was soaring high in the sky where the snowflakes dwell. The Spirit of our Lord Jesus was the wind beneath my wings.

Our Pappa taught me a valuable lesson. When my heart is¬†imprisoned by the feathery fingers of frost, I must look¬†at sunflowers and learn. A sunflower’s eyes always follow the sun. It basks in its warmth and care, praising our Pappa with it’s incredible beauty.

I have learned to never take the eyes of my heart off Jesus, the Son of all comfort, warmth and love. I have learned to look full in His wonderous face, assured that the warmth of His love will melt all those frozen tears in my heart and transform them into a bubbling stream of joy and delight, to the glory and praise of our Pappa.

Dear Ones, I am fully aware that at times it seems as if the frost-filled winters of life never seem to end. They seem to transform our weary hearts into flowers of cold, feathery frost. But at times like these we need to keep our spiritual eyes fixed on the Son, basking in the warmth of His never-ending love. This also has come to pass, not to stay!

Much love, blessings and peace to you!


I’m linking up with Amber Haines again with gratitude and joy. Other “abstractions-on-the-frost” can be found at