God’s Thoughts to Me
The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me (Galatians 2:20, NIV).
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said,”I believe; help my unbelief (Mark 9:24, ESV)”.
There was a nagging thought that had the habit of pestering me every Sunday after church, “What makes you any different from all the people who walk the aisles of the grocery store when the first thing you do after church is walking with them along the same aisles in the same store?”
My heart was compelled by a persistent still small voice urging me to find the reason for this thief stealing my pseudo peace.
I had no idea that it was our Pappa convicting me through the avenues of my conscience about my hypocrisy.
This peace had the abilty to make me feel smugly superior to these poor lost souls. I know now that it was only a fabrication of the latest great gospel songs we sang at church. Music does have the ability to lull the soul. And today’s gospel music has a great beat and melody.
I envied Enoch who knew the secret of just walking with God and I did the only thing I knew how to do well. I went knocking on heaven’s door, imploring Pappa to teach me Enoch’s secret.
And my Pappa answered!! I admitted to Him and Him alone, alongside many voices through the ages, that I had no idea what true faith really was!
I lamented alongside Mike Yaconelli, “I had totally misunderstood the Christian faith. I came to see that it was in my brokeness, in my powerlessness, in my weakness that Jesus was made strong. It was in my acceptance of my lack of faith that God could give me faith (Abba’s Child)”.
Together with the father of the boy with the evil spirit, I cried out to our heavenly Father,”I believe; help my unbelief (Mark 9:24)”.
Our Pappa tenderly showed me how I desperately tried to manufacture faith through striving very hard, on my own, in the flesh. What a futile endeavor!
He knew of my fear of being included in the crowd who were chided by Jesus, “You faithless people! How long must I be with you?” (Mark 9:19).
He knew of my uncertainties and insecurities that made me believe our Lord was speaking to me in particular. He was well aware that in my vocabulary and my mind, “faithless” meant, “unlovable, useless, nuisance, shameful” and so forth!
When I came to that place where I had to admit defeat, our Pappa showed me the beauty of relationship. He didn’t give me faith as an entity per se; He gave me Himself.
The deep longing to desire Him and love Him, and then to love Him and desire Him even more, was the answer to my persistent prayers of years ago! Truth be told, I didn’t think I was worthy or important enough for Him to listen to my prayers, let alone, respond to my requests.
First, He patiently had to remove the veil of law still covering my mind. The glorious truth and understanding of grace were veiled in my heart.
Like a bridegroom removes his bride’s veil, He removed the veil that prevented my heart from KNOWING His love … His grace … His mercy and compassion.
He gave me the wedding gift of receptiveness to receive Him into my longing heart and taught me the secrets of any relationship of love.
He convinced me that to get to know one another, I had to share with Him not only my life, but also my heart with all its secrets and my depreciating thoughts of myself.
I willingly had to open the door of my heart to the room where a little girl was still hiding in fear, rejection and pain. I had to allow Him to gather her in His arms and heal her with His Kisses of Delight.
I had to dare to believe that He truly loved me unconditionally before I was able to show Him my spiritual nakedness and allow Him to clothe me with His righteous robe of His blood and redemption.
He whisked me off my feet to our private garden where He showed me the beauty of true love … where He overwhelmed me with His grace and forgiveness.
He taught me Enoch’s secret of how to walk with Him, living in His Loving Embrace.
Much love and sweet blessings XX
27 thoughts on “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”
Beautiful testimony, Mia. I am so happy for you, in your walk with Him.
Thank you for encouraging me today. Yes, my friend, walking with Him is the most wonderful adventure even in this life already!
Much love to you
you have such a beautiful way with words.
Thank you so much, dear one! I am praying for you for I know it is only about two weeks before you are going on your new adventure. I am so exited for you!
Much love XX
it’s just a week away now! Thanks for your prayers. When I get to south Africa, I hope we can meet. Maybe you’ll be able to come see the ship for yourself! 🙂
Love the title and how it fits in so well with your post Mia; oh how there IS such beauty in a relationship with our Father when we knock and listen! 🙂 He chooses us because of His grace and love, for salvation and to receive all spiritual blessings. When we are weak, He is strong!
Blessings and joy this week sweet sister,
I often wonder why our Lord works the way He does, and why He heals some people of their physical illnesses and not others, until I realized that He knows who will bring Him all the glory in their weakness and yearn for an intimate relationship with Him because of their brokenness.
Much love XX
You’re so right, Mia. We hand over all of ourselves when we walk with him, even all our broken places. I’m hearing “Knock, knock, knocking on Heaven’s door” in my head now. 🙂
What a great song! We tend to forget at times that He especially wants our brokenness for He came to bind-up the broken-hearted and set the captives free! Let us open up all those dark, hidden places of our hearts the world forces us to hide and allow Him to heal us with His grace and love!
Much love to you
A beautiful story of God’s love for us. How He tenderly woos us…not with added fear but gently. I’ve felt that urging…prayed the “Lord, help thou my unbelief.” Sometimes we need to be reminded of our healings. Through your story, I’ve remembered.
I am so glad you are encouraged through my words! Remembering His goodness and love towards us personally helps our trust and faith to increase all the time!
Much love to you
Mia, your imagery here tells such an intimate story of one who knows she’s loved. In your weakness and recognition of it, he covered you with his sufficiency and strength and LOVE. He’s healed and is healing you. Yours is a beautiful love story.
It truly was from that place of utter poverty in the spiritual and emotional sense, that my heart was really and truly opened to receive our Lord Jesus. Now there is nothing this earth has to offer that can compete with His love! Thank you, sweet friend, for always being such an encourager. I truly appreciate your beautiful, grace-filled heart!
wow Mia this is wonderful heart filled writing. The verse “I believe; help my unbelief” is one of my favorite breath prayers. How often I pray those words. I like how you explore and expressed Enoch, someone I too have admire. You have given me things to think and pray about today.
Yes, dear friend, life takes us through many storms where I would rather rely on our Lord Jesus to hold my hand, believing in my stead, than trying in the flesh to whipp up some faith! Experience has taught me that I cannot.
Much love and a blessed week to you
Thank you for sharing how the Lord whoo’s you to himself. He is gentle and kind and unfailing, that is what you conveyed here.
Yes, dear one, just how gentle, loving and kind, I don’t think
we truly know yet! Thank you for visiting!
My dear Mia, I love to just sink into your posts. They are a sweet place of rest and refreshing to my soul. I used to see asking our Abba to help my unbelief as weakness and lack of faith. Now, I simply see it as continually entering into deeper communion with my Abba. Not weakness at all… but abiding and being enmeshed with the heart of my Lord. And He gives Himself so freely and generously.
Praying for your Fm today and hoping you’re having a precious time with our Abba this week!
Blessings and much love ~ Mary
Our Pappa knows how hard it is to believe at times! That cry of the heart that ask for faith to believe, to me, is such a sign of faith and trust even in the presence of unbelief. We know where to run in such time of need and we are so welcome to ask directly for only our Lord Jesus is now the mediator between us and our Pappa and He takes us right to the throne of grace. I hope the Fibro is better at the moment!
Much love to you, sweet friend
Mia! You so nailed it. You wrote, “When I came to that place where I had to admit defeat, our Pappa showed me the beauty of relationship. He didn’t give me faith as an entity per se; He gave me Himself.” That is it. All things we need are found as we abide IN Christ. “All things are ours and we are Christ’s and Christ is Gods.” That opening verse is so much better in the KJV, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the FAITH OF THE SON OF GOD, who loved me, and gave himself for me” (Gal 2:20 KJV). God not only loved us so much to give us His Son and HIS everlasting life, but He also has given us Jesus’ faith to first believe with unto and into salvation and then to live by as we dwell IN Him in heavenly places as His NEW Creation. Thank you so much for posting such a beautiful reminder of all that is ours IN Christ.
Oh yes, dear bro, whenever I am having difficulty believing, I just ask our dear Lord Jesus to believe on my behalf and He always does. Everything our God has given us is in our Lord Jesus, but for many it is still just a fact they try to believe. Yet, when He shows us through experience that it is a love relationship to be lived, we never go back to where we was before, don’t you think! Where else would we want to be but in Him!!!!
This is beatiful, Mia – this unveiling to believe – to love – to have relationship – and to now cower behind a veil of law! ‘I believe. Help my Unbelief” – that is a powerful cry – and even still – I cry it daily!
Oh, dear friend, I think every time you ask Him to help your unbelief, He takes your hand and walks with you on the stormy water of life that made you ask in the first place. It is such an intimate cry of faith, if you get my drift.
That will preach, sister… You depicted the heart of all of your fallen brethren… and the love of our Father. Thanks. Awesome reminder.
Oh, it takes a while for us to learn that it is all of His love and marvelous grace. We humans with our fallen hearts love to hide in the false security of law and legalism!
Blessings to you
Mia …your post went straight to my heart. I so desire to walk as close as Enoch did with
God. As I have gotten older in the Lord I don’t strive in my own power to be anywhere but where I am. It seem its then He comes to escort me to a new place with Him. Our relationship is growing. B Blessings my sister.
I love the way you describe your walk with Pappa where you say that He comes to escort you to a new place in Him and into deeper intimacy! It makes me feel so loved and appreciated.
Much love XX