God’s Thoughts to Me
This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength! (Nehemia 8:10, NLT).
The Kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21, NIV)
The Kingdom Within
We were all created with the longing to be loved … accepted, faults, failures, boots and all! It is quite the opposite of what the world teaches.
From childhood we are bombarded with the lie that we need to be independent! Stand on your own two feet. At best, keep your feelings at bay!
Work hard and climb the ladder to success, only to find that there is no end to this striving, no end to this crazy scurrying to nowhere!
And this longing to be loved goes unfulfilled. And we starve!
Another lie that is soon added to the world’s diet, is that worldy pleasures supposedly would still the hunger in our hearts for fulfillment.
We soon learn that playing just as hard as we work, is another prerequisite for happiness.
At some stage we begin to realize that there must be much more than this rat race that ends up only in the cat’s stomach and we feel the first stirrings of the sweet Holy Spirit drawing us to the heart of our magnificent Creator.
Some people try to quiet this stiil, sweet voice through drugs or sex or alcohol, only to spiral down into the destruction of their ability to be human.
Others sell their souls to a career only to find that ladder resting against a shaky wall, built on an even shakier foundation.
Others seek filfillment in sports and different societies, but I have found that my nemesis was religion!
My heart was like a sunflower turning its head towards organized religion hoping to find the warmth of the Son.
I was experiencing all these stages of life while I was a member of a church, a Sunday School teacher and part of a Bible study group and I was at my wits end.
For even there I couldn’t experience that deep inner joy and love my whole being craved for.
I cannot even begin to describe the intensity of that longing and how it robbed me of my ability to eat or to sleep.
I started on a journey, an inner journey, through the streets of the heavenly Jerusalem … a journey to find the priceless, costly pearl … that pearl of incalculable value.
Like the Shulamite, I said to myself, “I will get up and roam the city, searching in all its streets and squares. I will search for the one I love. So I searched everywhere but did not find Him (Song of Songs 3:2, NLT).”
Yes, I tried everything religion had to offer in the name of my beloved Lord Jesus. Yet, all to no avail.
I soon realized I was in an adulterous affair with the letter of the word and it was killing me slowly but surely (2 Corinthians 3:6), while my heart was longing, no craving, for the love of the Living Word!
Yet, it is so human to prefer the familiar, known streets of captivity, than escaping to the glorious freedom of the unknown.
I had to ask for grace to leave it all behind and to start my journey to Mount Zion … grace to be bigger and wiser than my fears!
When I read verses like Nehemia 8:10 , I became so frustrated, for the much coveted joy seemed to mock me in its absence.
Until one day when I realized that I was not searching for my Beloved with my whole heart like our Pappa advises us to do,”If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me (Jeremiah 29:13, NLT).
Just then and there I decided to take the first step … that leap into the unknown and my whole heart rose up to seek and find the one I love. I cried out … deep cried out onto deep … longing, craving, starving for my Beloved.
Then, one day in the early morning hours after another sleepless night, I was sitting on the floor, totally lost in my longing to be found by Him, when a shining white figure of a man appeared next to me. He held out His hand, inviting me softly, kindly and gently to come.
Just that one word,”COME”.
At first I was frightened, for after all, I didn’t believe in ghosts. But He kept inviting me with so much love and kindness that I couldn’t resist Him any longer. I took His hand and collapsed into His being.
I was lost in love and peace and surprised by JOY unspeakable.
I was lost in His Loving Embrace.
Much love xx